Yes. Alright boys let's end this one last push. GG. Okay, we won and we're done chat. I'm not going to be up as late as I was all summer, tomorrow is my first day of classes. Oh hey, Datura, thank you for the sub! 18 months! That's crazy dude, thanks for supporting me for so long.I probably wouldn't have kept streaming without the support. Okay folks, y'all have a good night and next time I'll see you we will see if I can rank up. Take care of yourselves everyone. This is Ryncaria, signing out.

Cut the intro I saw her walking at my school today My eyes popped open I was blown away I stare at her, it was pure reaction It’s Ryncaria, instant attraction What’re the odds we both end up here I dreamt this up, and now she appears She’s more beautiful outside my screen I head towards her, I kinda make a scene My heart was pounding, my chest was tight My head was spinning, didn’t feel alright I started talking, I was way too quick She was shocked, her face looked sick That’s when I knew I messed it up That’s what I do I mess it up No shot with you I screwed it up Nothing left to do I blew it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up Barely remember what it was I said I was excited then my courage fled Told her that I watch almost every stream That this was surreal, kinda like a dream I realized I had made a mistake No way to go back, to hit the brakes I apologized and I took a step back Two breathes short of a panic attack Ryncaria stuttered and she said okay Nice to meet you, then she walked away I was stuck, I was frozen in place Eyes on her but my mind in space My heart sank and my face was red Her frown on repeat in my head My first impression was entirely bad Nothing left to do but feel all sad God it’s true, I messed it up That’s what I do I mess it up Why I’d have to screw it up You idiot you blew it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up Now I’m on my piano at my dorm My guilt and regret swirling into a storm I can’t believe it, it was all so fast I got to meet Ryncaria at last I thought I’d get to live my dream Flirt with her and join her stream But I turned my own dream to dust Instantly from boon to bust Why do I have to be this way? On a team we’ll never play I guess I won’t write her a song Should I disappear, or say so long Apologize and take the blame I understand if never want to game Ryncaria it’s all my fault I guess I’ll have to make an alt Awesome how you blew it Zac Sped too much, flew off the track You didn’t stop, you didn’t think Now you’ll only mope and drink Now I’m the jerk, now I’m the fool Failure is my only rule I’m the one that you’ll mock I’ll guess I’ll let my piano talk Why am I so weird and obsessive Awkward, rude, crazy, possessive Why do I scare people away With the way I act and the things I say No surprise, I messed it up Tears in my eyes, I messed it up Why do I always mess it up? Hey maybe I’m just messed up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up I messed it up

Hey, Zac right? Oh hi, yeah. And sorry about just walking up to you like that the other day. That was not cool, apologies. Don’t worry I didn’t make things any better awkwardly walking away. Do you wanna play a game of poole? Oh, yes, absolutely. Funny how we both ended up here. Yeah, what are the odds right? Yeah. I’m not gonna lie. It’s been tough making friends here. I’m a lot less social in person as compared to what you see online, but I know we like the same games… So that's a start. Yeah. I’ve been mostly sitting in my dorm when I’m not in classes. Same. Mostly gaming. For me it’s either games or making music. Oh? You’re a musician. I’ll have to give you a listen. It’s nothing special. Mostly piano. Nice. I have a violin but I haven’t practiced in forever. Oh cool. So you’ve got more than just your pro gaming skills. Hey, you forgot about my charming on screen presence. Oh, I could never forget. I’m a girl of many talents. That’s why I’m about to win this game. Oh, you’re on. Maybe after I win we can game together. It’ll be easier with a teammate. We play together til wee small hours Chatting as we’re pushing towers. I can’t believe it, I’m really with you This is exactly my dream come true We play together til wee small hours Chatting as we’re pushing towers. I can’t believe it, I’m really with you This is exactly my dream come true Hey Zac, can you walk me to class? Of course. Hey, wanna check out this arcade with me tomorrow?

Me and Ryncaria at the arcade, or at the park sitting in the shade Me and Ryncaria talk every day, we never seem to run out of things to say Me and Ryncaria meet after our classes, cracking jokes and making passes Me and Ryncaria walk to the store, help each other with homework and chores Me and Ryncaria, it just feels right, can’t go away without saying goodnight Me and Ryncaria, happy at last, I don’t know how it all changed so fast Me and Ryncaria, known as a pair, seen together when out anywhere Me and Ryncaria, always a joy, I’m glad to finally be her own boy

Six dates down, a million to go Ryncaria’s now the star of my show Back from a concert, pale moonlight She can’t stop laughing and her smile is bright She’s singing songs as we’re walkin’ We laugh so much we’re barely talkin’ 11 PM, the night is young And that last kiss had a lot of tongue I knew I saw it in her eyes But hey, still, what a sweet surprise She’s finally let herself run free Yeah this girl is the one for me We’re strollin’ through the neon glow We’re holdin’ hands and walkin’ slow We both sing a little serenade As we walk ten blocks to the arcade Stop at a truck for some spicy food I’ve never seen her in this mood She’s running her fingers through my hair Anyone can see but we don’t care Run across the street, don’t wait for the light There’s a different feeling in the air tonight We’re dancing and spinning down the street Don’t even care that we’re offbeat We finally make it to our destination And she’s rushing in, no hesitation We’ve been out all day but I’m not tired Is this what it’s like to be desired? She says she’s never had a date like this She always wants another kiss Every moment feels so right I want to feel this every night She’s got that goofy look on her face I think she wants to get out of this place I can’t believe she likes me this much I really want to feel her touch I knew I saw it in her eyes But hey, still, what a sweet surprise She’s finally let herself run free Yeah this girl is the one for me We’re only there for a game or two When she thinks of something she’d rather do She’s squeezing my hand like never before She’s dragging me hard towards the door She kisses me then her arms go snap She pulls me in, what a clever trap She says it’s cramped and way too warm Why don’t we hang out at her dorm Through the city again we roam The city lights will guide us home We reach her building a bit before one But I can tell that we’re not done I think I figured out what emotion drove her She looks at me like this date isn’t over I’m shocked to see her act this way And her tone of voice is telling me to stay We walk in and she closes the door She tells me she wants something more Next thing I see she’s in a state of undress She’s showing me the way to her mattress Compared to her thoughts, her dorm is clean Her bed is a twin but I'm laying on a queen What a night I still can't believe From her room I never wanna leave I knew I saw it in her eyes But hey, still, what a sweet surprise She’s finally let herself run free Yeah this girl is the one for me I knew I saw it in her eyes But hey, still, what a sweet surprise She’s finally let herself run free Yeah this girl is the one for me

Hey, you’re awake... There’s some stuff I ought to tell you It’s probably not a big surprise That someday you’ll hear my wistful cries Life has a way of taking things away I know that’ll I’ll lose this all someday My good grades, my looks, my money, my streaming My creative drive and my whimsical dreaming In my heart I know that it’s true I’ll lose it all and then I’ll lose you I really just can’t keep it together When life should be good, I’m under the weather Bad things seem to follow me around So I push my hopes into the ground I’ve quit acting, quit drawing, quit the violin It’ll all fall apart, I just can’t win Can’t you see it? Did you notice? You say goodbye I start to cry I don’t what to say it’s just a cloud above my head Good things turn to bad and then I’m old then I’m dead I’ve lost it all before and then I’ve lost it all again Now I’m off at college and I’ve only made one friend More than just a friend, but that’s just what I fear The cloud goes away whenever you get near Being with you, it takes away the pain Seeing you smile it keeps me sane Can’t you see it? Did you notice? You say goodbye I start to cry Can’t you see it? Did you notice? You say goodbye I start to cry

College flies by when she’s by my side Ryncaria’s here, along for the ride Just having someone to be there To make the memories that we share Remember our road trip, way out west To see that concert, it was the best Our favorite band at some tiny bar Singing along all the way in the car Remember our weekend way downstate Seeing shows and staying out late Museums, stores, daylight or dark Our little picnic in the park Remember our all day stream-a-thon Playing together, all day long Good or bad games we made it through Always had fun when I was playing with you Graduation day, our favorite kiss Life just doesn’t get better than this Our apartment with a queen sized bed Looking forward to the days ahead Hold each other closely every night Being with you makes my life bright My companion for all these years Through all the smiles and all the tears Days go by, but you’re still there besides me Things may change but you still make me happy I’m so glad for our life together I turn to you when I’m under the weather There’s no one like you Ryncaria Yes you changed my life Ryncaria I’m so glad to know you Ryncaria Let me tell you about Ryncaria It’s been a full year since our last vacation She’s lost the energy to explore the nation We haven’t been out on a date in weeks The bedroom is a mess, the apartment reeks Ryncaria barely speaks any more Frown on her face, eyes on the floor She lies in bed for most of the day She promises everything is okay I know for sure that part is a lie Once in a while I hear her cry She used to tell all her problems to me That chapter is done it's clear to see Ryncaria I can’t stand to see you this way What’s the matter, I wish you would say

Ryncaria’s been down for months now I gotta help her up somehow I took her on a trip this weekend Her sadness it only deepened I cleaned up and made her bed She just sadly hanged her head I baked her a great big cake The smile on her face was fake I want to know what it is But I know that She won't say it I just want to know what I did But we both know She won't say it And she will never go outside In her bedroom she will always hide She doesn’t look me in the eyes Curls her lip to hide her cries She hasn’t said a word today Silently she looks away She doesn’t have another friend Tell me this is not the end I want to know what it is But I know that She won't say it I just want to know what I did But we both know She won't say it

Hey Zac, I wrote something. Can you play that one song again? There’s something I should tell you and I don’t know how to tell you and It makes me feel so guilty Watching you look so guilty This on me, it’s not about you Well I guess, I mean that’s not true I don’t want to be the one to take away If this is our life then I shouldn’t stay I lock up when you try to lift me I’m a chain and I want us to get free I guess I’ll never be happy You know I’ll never be happy I don’t know how to be happy Why can’t I ever be happy? We’re not normal, that’s clear to see I don’t know how you even fell in love with me I can’t believe, it’s been some years now We’ve put up with me through it all somehow But it’s gotten worse, I’ve fallen down I’m underwater and I think I’m gonna drown Would you please just throw me aside? I have a pain that I just can’t hide I’m a failure at everything I do I really don’t need to put that on you I guess I’ll never be happy You know I’ll never be happy I don’t know how to be happy Why can’t I ever be happy? It can end here, you can walk away I’ll feel so much more worse if I stay Zac please, I don’t want to hurt you The best way for that is to desert you I don’t want to cause you the pain Please give me a chance to explain I’m not in a slump. I’ve changed. I’m never gonna be the person I was when we first met. I haven’t even streamed in the last six months. That energy is gone and I don’t know where it went. Every time I think about it I just get anxious and I don’t think I can go back. I feel like I was a different person then. It’s just like my violin, my skills atrophied a little bit and I just turned to streaming instead, and then I met you. You had this big dumb smile on your face all the time. And I did too, things were working out for me and I had someone to cheer me on. We went on all these adventures together but the whole time I felt like something was wrong and I just stopped… I just gave up on so many things. I got tired. Being with you became a routine. Just like streaming. I lost the joy in the familiarity. But you kept the same energy, you even put in all this extra effort when I was down… but it only made me feel worse. Unconditional. I don’t want that. I want something to live up to… and I don’t know what that is any more… or where to find it. But I know what it means… I’m sorry It means I’ll never be happy You know I’ll never be happy I don’t know how to be happy Why can’t I ever be happy? I know you’ll outright deny it I refuse don’t even try it I don’t know how you can’t see This is the story of me Thanks…

Ryncaria’s gone, disappeared past one Not a word and a part of my life is done Packed her bags and didn’t even say goodbye Didn’t hear a step, didn’t even hear her cry She left behind her yellow chrysanthemum tea It's cold and cloudy, such an omen for me She won’t answer her phone, even when the numbers not mine She doesn’t message back, she still hasn’t come online None of her old friends even seem to know where she went She must have no one to turn to, no one to call and vent I’m so afraid, that I’ll never see her again I’ve lost my girl, lost my partner and my friend We didn’t even breakup, hell we didn’t even fight She just snuck away and faded into the night

Hi, this is Zac. I’m probably working on music right now and can’t hear my phone going off. Leave me a message and I’ll call you back. Hey Zac, it’s Ryncaria. I know you haven’t seen me in almost a year and I just disappeared but. I heard… one of our songs came on. It was that one we really liked that played all the time in the cafe on campus, then it was in our road trip playlist.. I know I’ve ducked every call and message but… I had to tear down everything familiar… I had to see what stuck and what faded away. I could keep it all out of my head sometimes… but it has a way of sneaking back in. Like that song. I get moments where I think back to us. It used to make me anxious, make me feel bad but now it’s different. Wistful. Like I don’t want to be there again, but it’s warm and happy in the rear view mirror. I know you tried everything to make it work and you’re probably upset… and I understand. I’m in another state now, I’m gonna guess that you are too… we always talked about it. I’m building up something new. New place, new people, new friends, hopefully a new life without a cloud around me. No streaming, either. No great ambitions or wild dreams. And no partner either, not for a while. But I wanted to call to say I did finally listen to one thing you said. I’m practicing the violin again… just for the simple joy of it, like you suggested. I’m not as good as I used to be but… well, I’ll play a little bit, just for you…